google mom

google mom

I have a confession- I’m a google mom. Since the day I discovered I was pregnant, I have been a victim of stuffing my face with information from the World Wide Web. And having a smartphone hasn’t helped ease the paranoia. Google is always a second away for me and I turn to it like a hopeless devotee  seeking answers. Additionally, I have about thirty apps installed to help me ‘manage’ motherhood. Milestone tracker, baby weight monitor, sleepy sounds player, nutrition advice for mom and, sleep tracker, fever monitor, nappy changer reminder and the list goes on. Special mention goes to the Feeding app. Hilarious as this may sound, I actually downloaded this because I used to lose track of which breast I was meant to feed Ri with each time since I would keep switching sides. This app was created for idiots like me. It went so far as to even have a start and stop button which I was supposed to click on when I started feeding and finished; so it would show me exactly how many ounces she drank! Brilliant right? Except genius that I am I would always forget to press stop and when I opened it the next time it would show me something like 1,500 litres!

Anyway, my point is, technology has crippled me to a great extent. Times when I should have allowed myself to listen to my gut, I turned to the Babycentre app and drove myself crazy with worry. It took me longer to develop my sense of intuition for my child and truly understand her needs. I remember sitting with the milestone app and watching Ri like a hawk waiting for her to perform like a circus animal – “Roll damn it roll!!” Not one of my best parenting moments but I’m pretty sure there are worse to come.
The truth is, I had underestimated my capabilities as a mother and allowed myself to get carried away with the belief that the Internet in all its glory was wiser than I could possibly be. I drowned myself in self-deprecation by comparing my baby to the ‘average’ baby and beating myself over the things she fell short of. It’s taken me a year to realize that sometimes, I do know better.
But I still love Google.

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